Legacy of Stones
When we think of family, we often think of love, support, and shared memories. But as time passes, we realize that family is more than just those moments—it’s an evolving dynamic, a relationship that grows, shifts, and sometimes, even distances itself. I recently came across a quote that beautifully encapsulates this transformation:
“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.”
This quote struck a deep chord with me. It speaks to the inevitable yet beautiful transition in the parent-child relationship—how, as children grow and build their own lives, the connection to their parents evolves in profound and sometimes unnoticed ways. Initially, as children, we are so immersed in defining ourselves and carving out our own identities that we may not fully grasp the depth of what our parents’ love and sacrifices have contributed to our own lives. But over time, we begin to understand that the successes we achieve and the paths we walk are not just our own; they are built upon the quiet, steady foundation of parental love and guidance, which may often be hidden beneath the surface of our own narrative.
A Poetic Reflection
Inspired by the sentiments in the quote, I decided to express my thoughts through a poetic form I had never attempted before: the nonnet. A nonnet is a form that consists of nine lines, with the syllable count decreasing from nine to one, a challenge that forces you to distill complex ideas into a concise structure. Here is my nonnet, which reflects my understanding of this evolving parent-child relationship:
Stones Beneath the Water
Parents
hold tight, but children must fly,
Moments cherished, then left
behind,
In pursuit of their own path,
Achievements gleam
bright,
Yet with time's insight,
They come to see,
Their
tale's weight,
Built on,
Love.
This poem captures the bittersweet tension between parents who hold on and children who must let go to discover themselves. It acknowledges the milestones of life—those personal accomplishments—and the realization, often much later, that these accomplishments stand on the shoulders of our parents' love and sacrifice.
As children, we don’t often think about the sacrifices our parents make for us. We’re too busy building our own lives, chasing our dreams, or even struggling with our own challenges. But as we grow older, something shifts. It could be a moment of reflection, a conversation with our parents, or a milestone in our own journey that brings us closer to the realization that our lives are, in fact, the culmination of both their stories and ours.
The older I get, the more I understand how the achievements I take pride in—whether personal or professional—are intertwined with the legacy of my parents. These accomplishments are stones, carefully placed, building up a foundation of support and love that I may not have fully recognized at the time. It's only as I look back, often much later, that I realize how their love has shaped the course of my own journey.
Parents rarely let go of their children, but in a way, children must let go of their parents. This isn't about abandoning them or losing that connection, but about the natural progression of life, where children move away, build their own lives, and begin to carve their own legacies. It’s a delicate balance between holding on and letting go—a process that takes time and understanding.
As we grow and become independent, the relationship between parent and child shifts. The moments of dependency give way to moments of accomplishment, and as children, we learn to appreciate the quiet sacrifices our parents made on our behalf. These moments of realization are often subtle, but they carry great significance. It’s only with time that we truly begin to appreciate the impact our parents have had on us—often without them ever asking for recognition.
The idea of "stones beneath the water" is a metaphor that captures the silent, steady, and unacknowledged support that shapes our lives. These stones are the sacrifices, the dreams, and the unspoken moments of care that parents provide throughout our lives. Like stones in a riverbed, these gestures are often unseen, submerged beneath the surface of our daily lives. Yet they are the very foundation upon which we stand.
It’s easy to forget the invisible contributions of those who came before us, especially as we move further into our own lives. But the truth is, we are never truly independent; we are always, in some way, tethered to those who have nurtured and supported us. Our accomplishments are always layered upon the stories of our parents—their dreams, their challenges, their sacrifices.
Through the lens of this reflection, I’ve come to realize that our lives are not built in isolation. We are not solitary beings achieving success solely on our own merits. We are deeply connected to the people who came before us. The love and lessons they imparted are the very stones that support us, and these stones are, in many ways, hidden beneath the surface of our lives, only to be understood later in life.
As we journey through life, it’s important to pause and reflect on the familial bonds that shape us, particularly the profound influence of our parents. It’s not just about the milestones we achieve, but the recognition of the invisible foundation laid before us. As children, we may carve our own paths, but as we mature, we begin to see how our stories are interwoven with the stories of our mothers and fathers.
The legacy of love and sacrifice is not always visible at the surface. But beneath it all, it flows—quietly, steadily, and profoundly—shaping who we are and how we navigate the world.
“Our stories are not just ours to tell; they are built upon stones—stones that rest quietly beneath the water, waiting for us to notice them.”
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