In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is easy to lose one's self in being the light for everybody else. With ease, we step into the roles of cheerleader, counselor, and friend, never hesitating to give a smile or a shoulder to lean on. There is nothing quite like this feeling-that this soul before you has bloomed because of your minute acts of generosity. But that said, beneath that nurturing exterior lies a truth often obscured-we cannot pour from an empty cup.
While swimming through the ever-demanding currents of life, many a time I become that energetic support to people around me—a beacon of hope and warmth. Friends lean on me during their storms and share all their fears and dreams with me, and at that very moment, I feel alive, like I am living my purpose. But weeks turn into days, and I realize something: my dreams have started gathering dust in the corner, offsetting the burden weight of others.
I think of a friend, her eyes brimming with tears as she confided how she was continually fighting battles for others while overlooking her own wounds. It hit a chord. How often do we take on the weight of the world's problems in our endeavors-like a superhero that has forgotten to recharge-leaving us tired, weak, and open to attacks? So common is this hero syndrome where you feel responsible for everyone's happiness.
The sun sets gently, and the room is bathed in golden hue, reminding me of the warmth that I so often give away. I can hear the muffled whispers of my own needs amidst the loud cries for help from the others. It is a bittersweet realization that while I am busy being their anchor, I'm allowing my own ship to sail in aimless directions.
And so, as I take a moment to breathe, I start to understand how one needs to even things out. The art of taking care of oneself is not selfish; it's actually quite vital. The soft sigh escapes my lips as I sit down with my favorite book, cradling a steaming cup of tea in my hands. It's such a little gesture, yet it almost feels monumental in the reclaiming of my space. It reminds me that to take care of my own soul does not make me lesser in supporting others; it strengthens it.
The leaves outside softly rustle, and I find my relief in the dancing rustle. And then, a realization hits me: giving to the self isn't just about indulging in pleasures; it is also about recognizing one's own pain and struggles and desires. That is okay-to fumble, to take a step backward, to allow oneself to feel vulnerable. I am not a machine; I am human and deserve love, just as the ones I lift up.
Now, with introspection, I look back at all the innumerable moments where I have sacrificed my needs for others. Guilt wraps me instantly, but feelings of guilt strike me quickly that it cannot alter everything. So now is the time to act. I carve out small chunks of time for myself-moments where I can just be, breathe, and exist sans the demand to always be the strong one.
The moon rises high, a soft glow cast, and I smile, thinking of release. Each night is an opportunity to drop the weight of the day, to invite peace into my heart. I was learning that my vulnerability could stand right next to my strength. Both are sides of the same coin, both necessary in lives well-lived.
I feel the shift in me with every step into self-compassion. As much as it is important to be there for others, one learns it's equally important to be there for oneself. The paradox of being a source of light is that the brightest lights flicker at times. And then there is finding the strength to lighten our path in the dark.
And so, dear friend, I ask you-are you saving yourself while saving others? Of course, that very simple question has a great deal of depth. In an environment that makes hustle and sacrifice ethereal virtues, it is paramount to keep consideration of self first.
Remember that our souls, too, deserve goodness-just as we extend it out to others. Let us take a moment to refill, to rest, and give life to our own dreams. In this manner, we will be honoring not only ourselves but also creating a capacity in our lives for the people that surround us.
And as I step into a new day, I embrace this mantra: “Shine your light, but never forget to refill your own well.”
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