“Are You a Doormat or Just Playing Safe? Who’s to Blame, Anyway?”

 

Life is a battlefield of sorts, and sometimes, we find ourselves in situations where we'd rather avoid conflict than engage in it.

 It's perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about confrontations, but what happens when this fear of conflicts makes you appear submissive?

Are you signalling to others that it's okay to take you for granted?

And most importantly, when it comes to this dynamic, who's to blame – the person being taken for granted, or the ones doing the taking?

Let's dive into this complex situation and try to find some answers.

The Nature of Conflict and Submission

You're faced with a conflict. Maybe it's a disagreement at work, an argument with a friend, or a family feud.

 Regardless of the stage, your heart races, palms get sweaty, and your mind goes into overdrive.

Conflict is scary! It's only natural to want to avoid it.

So, what do we do when we're scared?

Often, we take the path of least resistance – submission. We may become quiet, back down, or just let others have their way.

In the art of communication, avoidance can be your worst enemy.

But does that make us weak?

Here's the thing, Submission isn't necessarily weakness. Sometimes, it's a survival tactic. It's a way to keep the peace and avoid making things worse.

"Submission doesn't always equal weakness; sometimes, it's a survival strategy."

However, the tricky part is when submission becomes a pattern, and others start seeing it as an open invitation to take advantage.

Playing the Victim

Ever heard the saying, "You teach people how to treat you"?

When we constantly submit without standing up for ourselves, it can create a perception that we're an easy target.

We might inadvertently cast ourselves as victims, putting ourselves in a cycle of being taken for granted.

Are You the Doormat?

When you're overly submissive, it's like sending out an invite that says, "Hey, come take advantage of me!" But here's the kicker: Is it entirely your fault? Well, not necessarily.

Pointing Fingers or Seeking Solutions?

Let's not jump on the blame game bandwagon too quickly. The whole submission-vs-exploitation situation isn't black and white. It's more like a murky shade of gray. Here's why:

Fear Factor: We're all human, and fear can be a powerful motivator. Fear of conflict, fear of upsetting others, or fear of not being able to handle the situation can all lead us down the submissive path. It's not your fault to be afraid; it's just human.

Power Play: In the grand game of power dynamics, it's not just the submissive folks who are pulling the strings. The ones taking advantage also have a part to play.

They might be oblivious to how their actions affect others or may have their own insecurities driving their behavior.

Circumstances Matter: The blame game gets even fuzzier when you consider the context. Sometimes, people are simply dealing with too much on their plate. They might not even realize they're taking someone for granted.

The Bottom Line: Finding Balance

So, who's to blame? It's a tricky question. Instead of pointing fingers, maybe we should focus on finding a balance between standing up for ourselves and maintaining harmony in our relationships.

Communication is Key: Instead of suffering in silence, open up a dialogue. Share your thoughts and feelings with the other party. They might not even be aware that you feel taken for granted.

Self-Empowerment: Don't underestimate your own strength. Learning to assert yourself in a healthy way can be a game-changer. It's okay to set boundaries and say no when necessary.

Understanding Others: Consider the perspective of the ones who might be unintentionally taking you for granted. Sometimes, they need a wake-up call too.

In the end, it's all about striking a balance between being respectful and standing up for yourself. So, don't be too quick to blame anyone, and remember, it's a journey, not a destination.